LIVING, CLAIM, NEGOTIATE ... AND ETHICS

One of the challenges of living together as a couple or group with respect to relations with our neighbors. There are many aspects that affect this, and many are damage and losses in relationships that hinder the achievement of harmony in the goals set by a person or a social group. A common feature regarding the conduct of a good relationship relates to the ability that everyone has to deal with complaints, or do the same in a consistent and timely in the face of complex and problematic situations. Hence the question arises: how to not fall into the trap of addiction to complain without having a plan to solve the problems which complains? It is an intriguing question, since it is ever-increasing development of critical sense for people - which often is not as accurate as it should be. Relationships involving couples, families, industries, customers and employees can be full of complaints, if they win power through the negative manifestations, leading to lack of motivation and reduced enjoyment of life together. This paper aims to reflect on what is the appropriate way to deal with complaints, and provide referrals to correct these situations.

Complaints can be filed by different circumstances, such as lack of alignment of personal goals with your partner or group that lives or personal beliefs with the culture of the place where you live, study or work. People who complain too much also aim to achieve a "control", but of course in a negative way, and rely on the frustration that load (mean frustration and excitement that occurs in situations where something is blocked from reaching a personal goal) - and in opportunities arising from the lack of harmony within the organization or living environment. In short: It is an attempt to seize power or reduce frustration by a generation of conflict.

Complaints are actually created opportunities for "Leaders of Resistance" to assert its position within the group, than the defense of collective interest that may be at stake. When dealing with a person with this feature and their complaints, which should be done is to identify a priori whether this is really at stake a claim of fact. It is then necessary to have clear concepts and some understanding so that they can live with people who engage in these types of demonstrations. First: claim is nothing more than a demonstration of dissatisfaction of an individual or a group in order to enforce a right which was violated. It is based on enforcing the "right", a requirement clearly recognized as valid and correct. When the axis of the complaint moves to the right side of the "interests", one loses the right to complain because it passes there will be other points of view to consider other stakeholders who can benefit or be harmed too much by imposing an interest that may or may not benefit a unilateral rather than collective. The same goes for reason in the claims, where the axis of the theme is the claim that something "belongs" to someone, and that is required to back, and not antagonistic interests are at stake.

As in most of the complaints may be at stake, the output is no longer complaining or claiming, but negotiate. This is the process of achieving goals through an agreement in situations where there are interests, with one key feature: keeping gains on both sides involved and reach a common denominator. Faced with embarrassment, I repeat, the first step is to identify whether such claims are really complaints or not, the identification of any right violated, or if this is relevant only for satisfaction of personal interests at stake, and from then invite stakeholders to a round of negotiations.

The act requires self-knowledge to negotiate the potential and weaknesses, to have for sure to what extent one can give, and what you can not give up. It must have critical sense about the values ​​and rights that may be being violated or not. It is a game that seeks a win on both sides, even if not desired by the score, but right and fair ...

Luciano Henrique Pinto